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OK fam, let me tell it to you straight – I need to go back to basics to kick start my healthiest habits again. I had a baby 4 months ago, and during pregnancy and the last four months, I made choices that were good for me at the time, but now as my body resets to “no baby”, I need to modify.
The things I changed made sense, and I don’t have any issue or shame over them.
Sure, I may have allowed some of my laziness to seep in, but overall, I was smart. I stopped going to Fit Body in February, because I had Braxton Hicks that were wildly annoying and made my anxiety kick start, and I needed to stop. Since I was pregnant, I ate more calories, more of the stuff that should be more moderation than day to day. I ate a LOT of cheeseburgers, because they were kind of the only thing I wanted, especially coming off of morning sickness. As I am breastfeeding, I have to continue eating higher calories than I would like, so that I don’t lose my supply. All these things make sense.
But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t struggling with my body right now.
I am about 20-25 pounds heavier than I was the day I found out I was pregnant with D. That isn’t that much, honestly. I know that. And yet here we are. I try to avoid saying that I feel fat or large or whatever in front of my eldest, because I don’t want her to feel like that ever, but friends I can tell you – I feel a little fluffy around the edges.
If I didn’t tell you this and was 100% positive all the time about my body then I would be like the people I am trying to avoid being – I would be fake and that isn’t worth it for you to keep reading or me to keep typing. While I am not perfect, as hard as I try to be, and I need to keep sharing that, because the struggles are so much more helpful than the wins.
I have to keep reminding myself that:
- I had a baby. Like, 4 months ago. And you take 9 (10) months to grow said baby, so weight doesn’t come off in 4 minutes.
- I am STILL 25-30 pounds LESS than I weighed at my heaviest. I am STILL maintaining my weight loss, I am STILL successful.
These are things I have to remind myself or else I will fall into the sneaky hate spiral of American diet culture and not feeling good enough and feeling rather large in a world where I am still within average ranges but “no one on TV is a size 10 so I must be a giant.” PHEW. Just thinking that is exhausting. But, it is also why I need to go back to basics, I can feel good about myself now, and I can work on myself to feel good about myself in the future.
So, how do you do it?
How does a mom get BACK to normal life, in the new normal, even just the basics, while keeping everything afloat? You take it one step at a time. Read on for the how I’m getting myself back to basics!
Getting back to basics post-pregnancy.
Keep it simple.
Don’t go big or go home right off the bat. Give yourself some grace, and make small, reasonable, goals that you know you can accomplish. For me? I have a few for the rest of 2019, which include losing just 10 pounds. I have previously lost 30 pounds in 10 weeks, so I know this is more than manageable in the 10 weeks we have left in the year. It will take small changes, but won’t mess with my breast milk supply, and isn’t cutting a crazy amount of calories. It is small changes in some choices (like cauliflower rice instead of rice, avoiding the sweet treats, etc.) but will not leave me feeling like I am missing out on things (I still plan on drinking a milk stout nightly, it really helps my supply!).
Move around
I’m back to Fit Body, when my foot lets me (watch my stories on Instagram, it’s an unending story of wart removal). I’m getting a new Treaddesk, since mine died not long before I left for maternity leave. I am also just planning on MOVING my body more! You don’t have to do anything crazy, just make sure you’re walking or doing a yoga video on YouTube every day. You can find HIIT workouts or body weight exercises online or on my Pinterest. This can be super basic things, it doesn’t have to be a wild fitness routine. Go on a daily walk while you call a friend, make a 1:1 meeting a walking meeting, park further away from places, whatever!
Talk it out
My mental health has suffered lately. The more I talk about it, the more I find that LOTS of mothers mental health is suffering because we feel like we have to do it all and be it all and smile while doing it. I am keeping aware of this, and managing it.
First, I went back to therapy.
I did a whole post on it, so I won’t bore you with details here, but its been amazingly great. Just about every aspect of my life has improved through making the decision to take action, no matter how hard it is at the time. This is the epitome of “back to basics” in my brain – its truly getting back to what your brain needs.
Second, I know I need routines.
I am making them and sticking to them. Scroll on down for more details on that!
Third, I am no longer choosing to suffer alone.
I struggle to be vulnerable and to put myself out there to people who aren’t in the “approved three” of my husband and both parents. Panic attacks are reserved for them, lest I feel judged. not suffering alone. Our church is doing a series called “Its OK to not be OK” and its the series that was made. for. me. A few weeks ago, the focus was on anxiety. I’m not exaggerating when I say I had tears in my eyes for 2/3 of it because I felt seen and my struggles explained in ways I could never have put into words myself.
Scotty ended his message with telling us that coping with anxiety doesn’t work in isolation, that we need to share it with our community of people around us. I have taken to telling Aaron, “Not sure, but just feeling it today.” and just that has been enough to give some relief. It takes away the stigma and secret of anxiety, and helps to release me from some of its grasp.
**Northshore also did an excellent message on grief – and not just in the terms of the death of a loved one – the following week, and I highly recommend it. Click the link above to get there.
Find some fun
I suffer from mom guilt, wife guilt, life guilt. I don’t have any issue with my husband playing soccer a few times a week or going out, and yet I feel SO guilty that I go to a weekly bible study, and I about go insane if I go out MORE than that, even once! My struggle even extends to be willing to go out on date nights and ask for a babysitter, lest I inconvenience someone who adores our children and has offered to babysit!
I’ve talked it out with Aaron a lot – like a LOT – and he always responds with a resounding, “GO OUT!!!!! WE’RE GOOD!” My husband is no daddy babysitter, he is a full on father, and walked into parenthood eyes wide open. My guilt is purely from my own brain. So I am going out more. I have dinner with my dad once a month, and I am trying to find more ways to sync up with friends and get out of the house.
Still struggling with that? Let someone else take charge.
My husband also has taken to just deciding when we are going to do something, which is honestly his best idea yet. Whilst I was out last week with my dad for our monthly dinner, I got a text saying “GET A SITTER FOR THE 10TH!” I knew immediately why….that meant Toronto had won their game and the MLS Cup Championship would be happening IN SEATTLE, and as season ticket holders, we got first dibs on tickets. (Side note: I am glad we did because ticket prices are INSANE now) I would have wanted to go anyway, but I feel so loved by him when he makes that decision for me, and wants to share that WITH me. And oh MY will it be fun. Go Sounders!
Plan it out
As much as I can, I make lists and keep organized. Events are in my phone calendar and on the calendar on the fridge. I have to-do lists, cleaning lists, packing lists, and planning lists. Blog lists too! I have a OneNote for the blog, but just about everything else is handwritten because there is nothing I love more than crossing something off a list.
It helps me to feel prepared when I have a list. My memory sucks. Like, its awful guys. Embarrassingly so. So if I don’t make lists and plans, I’ve got nothing. I have huge lists for packing for trips, and I have three running lists on my phone for Costco, Target, and the grocery store. If you haven’t started using the “reminders” app on your iPhone and sharing it with your spouse, significant other, roommate, whatever, you are missing out on some quality organization.
Meal Prep
There are times when I get really lazy, and don’t plan out the food that we will have for the week, and those are the weeks that we have Red Robin, pizza, and chicken nuggets. While I think my 3 year old loves those weeks, they also end up with no leftovers, so then I have to fend for myself with lunch too, which leads to Burger King, Cup Noodles, and chicken nuggets. Or it leads to 5 grocery store runs throughout the week and a lot more money spent. SO, to help me go back to basics, I need to at least organize my meals for the week, get all the ingredients in a list, and do one grocery run a week. PLUS, if I pick things like overnight oats, egg cups, etc., I can have grab-n-go healthy breakfasts to not stress in busy mornings.
Practice the Schedule
I go back to work next week, but not on Monday. So, starting Monday, I will be practicing my schedule, to perfect it before it goes ‘live’ on Thursday. Hubs and I have discussed what we think we need our time frame needs to be for less stress and more function for all four of us getting ready and out of the house, but by practicing it, we can modify as needed throughout the week.
Plus, with my anxiety, I manage change far better when I have anticipated everything and know what to plan for. The more I organize and prep, the better I manage! Having a routine makes me feel so much more confident heading into a change. Even if its a minor expectation of “I will wake up, make coffee, and kiddo #1’s lunch”, then that routine is set for me and I feel more in control of the day. If you feel the same type of change anxiety, try practicing the change before hand, work out the kinks so you don’t have to real time!
There you go. Back to Basics 101.
I hope that these are as helpful for you as they have been for me, and I would love to know what works for you! Do you have any tips to share with me on getting back to your routine and finding a new normal in life post-baby? ESPECIALLY as maternity leave ends, and the big changes come! There is such an expectation for women to do and have it all, and while the sentiment is great, it can end up being really damaging, and leaving women without support.
I am blessed to work for a company that provides such an epic maternity leave, and I know there are so many who don’t even get a skosh of what I get. It isn’t talked about much, the pain of leaving your babe to go back to work, even if you’ve had a long leave or even if you know you are a better parent because you work. So I want to know what you’ve got! Hit me with your tips – this week is going to be a DOOZY for me!
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